


Untitled Valentine's Day Drama

by wingedkiare



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-23 23:36:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1583540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingedkiare/pseuds/wingedkiare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the Pack are too involved in everyone else's lives, especially now that it's Derek and Stiles's first Valentine's Day as a couple - and they've had enough.  Burgers, Too Many Keys, The McCall Phone Act of 2012, and a solution.</p><p>(I couldn't come up with a decent name - suggestions are welcome)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled Valentine's Day Drama

**Author's Note:**

> AU: Allison lived through the nogitsune (I started writing this just before Valentine's Day), and the Pack has graduated. Stiles is 19, and lives at the unnamed college that's only an hour's drive away, but comes back to town on weekends.
> 
> Posted for lastknownwriter, who gets me.

Derek once called the Pack ridiculously codependent.All those times they saved Beacon Hills from itself, they became used to living out of each other’s pockets and never seemed to stop.For the most part, it was useful.

Stiles could ask someone to bring his dad dinner when he was caught up in a study group, and someone would agree so long as he’d agree to do something in return.It’s what Pack does.

But Derek was right, too.Even if Stiles didn’t want to admit it.

Case in point, it was their first Valentine’s Day together, and the Pack was trying to make it special.

“Are you even paying attention?”Lydia’s voice was especially shrill through the laptop’s speakers.

“Not really, Lyd.I zoned out on your fourteenth bullet point about why these are terrible plans for Valentine’s Day.”

“Burgers are not romantic.”

“Burgers are awesome, I reject your definition of romance.”Stiles flopped forward, aware that she couldn’t see him on the webcam anymore.

The pitfalls of the Pack had come up shortly after they’d started dating.Derek had turned up at his dorm room door, furious that everyone had an opinion about them getting together.Isaac had shown up at the loft with a box of condoms that were the right size for Derek.Stiles had tried to point out that with all the destroyed clothing in the last three years, everyone had seen most of the wolves’ junk - but it was too much for Derek, whose suggestion was that they move to the other side of the country.Even though that was skipping about 100 steps relationship-wise.

Stiles only cut off that line of thought when he pointed out it only put them closer to Lydia, which was enough to make Derek realize how ridiculous he had been.

“What are you wearing?”

Stiles looked up.“Are you trying to start Skype sex?”

“Ugh, don’t be gross.On your burger date.”

“My nice jeans and whatever nicer shirt doesn’t have blood on it, most of my nice stuff’s still at my dad’s.”

“Well, that just spells romance.”

“It’s romantic that he’s driving me an hour away from campus for awesome burgers.”

“But there’s an In-n-Out in Beacon Hills.”

“And the last time we tried to go there, my dad unexpectedly showed up.Which seems to be sort of the normal thing now.The one night this week that I didn’t have any classes and there wasn’t a Pack meeting, four people let themselves into Derek’s apartment while we were watching TV.”

“I heard all about that.You yelled at Kira.”He could hear the judgement loud and clear- and for obvious reasons, nobody yelled at Kira.It was like yelling at a puppy.

“We could have totally been about to have sex, Lyd.”

“But you weren’t.”

“We were going to after the show finished, and then they came in, and invited themselves to stay for movies.I shouldn’t have to schedule sex with my boyfriend and put it on a Google Calendar.”

Lydia glared at him, setting down the Kindle she’d loaded the Pack’s library onto.“Then maybe Derek shouldn’t have given everyone keys to his apartment.”

“Maybe Derek shouldn’t have,” Stiles parroted, in a high voice that sounded absolutely nothing like her, or anyone in the Pack.“Now can we please get back to figuring out whether or not Isaac being nice is a spell or if he just had a personal breakthrough?”

“Fine.I’m only trying to help.”

“If I want help with my love life, my beautiful banshee, I’ll ask for it.”

 

***

 

Derek was unusually quiet on the car ride out to In-n-Out, shoulders tight.Not that he was particularly verbose, but he generally said something.

Stiles sighed.“What’s the matter?”

Derek stared straight ahead, jaw set.“Nothing.”

“Did I do something?”

The werewolf’s head practically snapped in his direction.“No.God, no.”

“Is it because we thought Isaac was cursed?”

“No. Even Scott and I thought he was too cheerful.”Embarrassingly enough, Isaac had just been happy about having a date for Valentine’s.

“We don’t have to go out of town, if that’s the problem.”

“I’m just mad.”

“Obviously.”Stiles waved his hand in Derek’s general direction.“Your eyebrows are in doom position and you look like you’re about to snap me in half and throw the pieces out the window.”

“I just wanted tonight to be fun, and everyone’s…”

“Oh.”Stiles dropped his hand on Derek’s thigh, squeezing lightly for a moment.“Last night, Lydia was lecturing me about our lack of romance when we were brainstorming about Isaac, and tried to make it sound like it’s our fault that nobody knows how to leave people alone.”

“Kira dropped by this morning with flowers that she said I had to give to you if I wanted you to know how I felt.There were some chocolates, too.”Derek exhaled, looking a little guilty.He must have eaten those.

“Some best friend she is.You’d think she’d know by now you sneak chocolate when you’re pissed off.”Stiles grinned, resting his hand on Derek’s thigh.“Besides, all I need are some Reese’s cups, not anything in a heart shaped box.”

“You know, they make Reese’s Valentine boxes.I almost bought you one, but I thought you’d probably laugh for five minutes before you even ate one.”

It was a pretty fair guess.He usually did tend to laugh when Derek tried something sweet.Not one of his best tendencies.“You know me well.Besides, we agreed that after that witch who hexed Isaac last month, we’d all stick to normal routines.Nothing out of the norm for us.But that was just Kira trying to be nice.What’d you do with my flowers?”

“Took them to the cemetery and split them between our moms and Laura.But it wasn’t just Kira.Cora kept asking me if we were going to be at the apartment tonight, stinking up the place with sex and trying to get arrested for being too loud.”

“And?”

“I told her if she kept asking, we’d use her bed.”

“That isn’t too bad?”

“The last straw was Scott suggesting we send a text so everyone would stay away, like a sock on the door.”

“Because it’s our fault that they don’t knock or call ahead?”

“That’s what I said.The keys were for emergencies.”Derek sighed, the line of tension still there, and Stiles leaned against the car window, body twisted so that he could keep watching Derek instead of the road.

“Well, they’re in Beacon Hills and we’re going to be an hour and a half away from them.Not like they can do anything else.”Stiles groaned as his phone started to ring, buzzing from the center console.“Shit.I just jinxed it, didn’t I?”

“Probably.”

“Do I answer it?”Stiles picked up the phone, looking at the screen.“It’s Allison.”

 Derek held his breath for a moment, then exhaled.“Might be important.Argents.”As it was, they couldn’t put off answering the phone forever.The Scott McCall Act of 2012 meant that they had to keep their phone on them at all times.

“Telefono de Stilinski, go.”

“Stiles.”Allison sounded stressed. “You guys aren’t there yet, are you?I didn’t want to interrupt your date.”

“Still in the car.What’s up?”

“I’m going to make dinner for Isaac, and-“

“Hang. Up,” Derek whispered.

“-says I need to finish the steak in the oven, and I don’t think any of the pans are oven safe.”

“Alli.Cast iron skillet.If you don’t have one, go get the one from your dad’s house, just don’t use soap when you clean it afterwards.Hot water only, and it’s easier to scrub when it’s hot.That’s all the advice I can offer.”

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“I am.A few times over.But don’t call me again tonight unless someone’s bleeding or dying.”Stiles ended the call, putting his phone back in the cupholder.“Seriously?Why the fuck would she call me?”

Derek laughed, as he pulled into the parking lot.“You’re the only one of them who can cook.”

“You cook.”

“For you and Cora.Isaac’s still convinced that if it can’t be microwaved, I can’t make it.”

Stiles knew he was gaping, but he couldn’t help it.“I know they say that I’m the brains of this relationship-“

“Nobody says that, Stiles.”Derek leaned over to kiss him.“Let’s get a burger.”

The kiss was one of those soft and light pecks that Stiles couldn’t get enough of.The ones that happened without thought or intent.“Good, I’m not sure I can live without my mustard fried double double for any longer.But I just meant that it’s the sort of diabolical plan I usually come up with.”

“Very true.You meant so much to me back when I lived out of a train car that I thought, What Would Stiles Do?”The werewolf slid out from the front seat, taking a moment to adjust his slacks.“I even had a bracelet made up to remind me.”

“Asshole.”

“Takes one to know one,” Derek said with a snort, shoulders finally relaxed.“I’m hungry, too.”

“How many patties are you going to get this time?”It came out a little more accusatory than Stiles had meant, but he had feelings about burgers.

“What do you have against a four by four?”

“It completely throws off the bun to meat ratio.”Stiles slammed his door shut, walking to the front of the SUV. 

“Yet you don’t complain about cupcakes with four inches of frosting.”

“Because it’s frosting.”He shrugged, threading his fingers with Derek’s.“You could cover yourself in frosting and it wouldn’t be too much…”Well, that was an amazing mental image.Derek splayed out in his armchair and nearly electric blue frosting all up his-

Derek laughed, snapping Stiles out of that fantasy.“Broke your brain with that mental image?And no, that isn’t going to happen.”

“Never say never, dude.”

“Don’t call me dude.”Derek looked up at the menu.“If it’ll get you to shut up, I’ll just get two double doubles.”

“You are an actual saint, Derek Hale.Patron Saint of Shirtlessness.”

The Patron Saint of Shirtlessness gave a long suffering sigh and took his place in line.“Then I command you to find a table.I’ll get the drinks.”

 

***

 

They were mid-debate about going back for milkshakes when Derek’s phone rang.Cora.“I’m not going to pick it up,” Derek grumbled.“I don’t care about any McCall decree.”

“I only named it that because Scott never picked up his phone.”Stiles reached across for the phone.“Derek Hale’s phone, this had better be an emergency.”

“Let me talk to my brother?”

“No.Especially since I’m sort of into the sex on your bed plan if you keep pestering us.”

“Fine.I have a Skype date tonight, and I want to make sure that the internet won’t crap out on me.”

“Ethernet port,” Derek said with a sigh.“There’s one behind her bed, and cables under my desk.She won’t have to rely on the wifi.”

“Who’s the date with?”

“Nobody,” Cora said sharply.“I’m heading over to Steph’s after my Skype date’s over, so-“

“Be safe,” Derek said, quietly enough that to anyone nearby it probably sounded like he was just talking to Stiles.

“You too, dipshits,” Cora said, ending the call.

“I’m not sure how I feel about that.”Stiles set the phone down.

“Being called dipshit or that she has a date with Lydia?”

Stiles sputtered.It wasn’t that he had any claim to Lydia, but he legitimately hadn’t seen it coming.“Lydia?”

“Cora has friends in Boston.Remember the trip she took to the East Coast?She spent the trip with Lydia.”

“I know that, but the last time they were here, all they did was scream at each other.”Stiles stopped, looking up at Derek, realizing that they’d spent most of his senior year shouting at each other until they were hoarse.“Oh my god, is that how Hales flirt?”

Derek balked, ears turning a little red.“No.Just Cora.I flirt like a normal person.”

“Showing up at my dorm at 2 am with Red Bull and Doritos, asking if you can sleep on my floor isn’t normal.And neither was the year before that you spent telling me to get out of your life.”

“You were 17.I couldn’t exactly flirt with you.”

“So you keep saying.”Stiles stopped, pulling his phone out of his pocket.It had started buzzing.“Kira.I probably should ignore this one.I know that she was trying to make Scott’s favorite cupcakes.I gave her the recipe, and it’s sort of tricky.”The phone stopped buzzing, and showed that he’d missed the call.

“I know.I sat there with her when she made them yesterday morning.”

Both of them stared at the phone, then at Derek’s when it started to ring.“Well, fuck.No milkshakes, I’m guessing.”

Derek picked up the phone.“Everything okay?”His brow furrowed.“Let me pass the phone to Stiles so we can both hear this.”He handed it over.

“Kira?”

“Oh good.I’m really sorry to call, and honestly, Scott told me not to.But I was at the store picking up chicken and everyone here’s a little weird.”

Derek leaned over, talking into the speaker.“Hold on one second.I’m going to get the laptop from the car.”

“Good.Lydia wasn’t answering, and the three of you are the ones who could figure out what’s going on.I… I don’t want you two to cut your date short, I just want to know what we’re dealing with.”

“Well, before Der gets back, tell me what kind of weird.”

“Dazed.Vaguely horny.And that’s with my nose.Scott could barely walk in here.”

“Where is he?”

“Off tracking the scent.We figured that we could postpone our night until we took care of this.”

It figured the only ones with any sense were Kira and Scott.

“Did Derek get you anything for Valentine’s Day?”

Derek sat down at the table next to him, pulling the laptop from Stiles’s bag.

“Some chocolates,” Stiles lied.“They were delicious.But you really shouldn’t have, Kira.”

She laughed, and he could almost see her looking down and cheeks flushed.“Derek told you?”

“Of course he did.Everyone was trying way too hard to make this something special.But he put the flowers out for our families, so don’t worry about it.I probably would have used them as ingredients for a spell.”He looked over at Derek.“Dazed, vaguely horny, she said.Couldn’t there be a widespread curse?”

“Did it feel like magic?”

“No,” Kira said quietly.

The bestiary search said incubus or succubus.“Just men or women?”

“Both.”

Derek glared at the screen.“But-“

“If you have a pair working together it would explain it.What better day to feed off the desperate than Valentine’s?”Stiles bumped shoulders with Derek, who nodded.

“A pair of what?”Kira turned around.“Your dad’s here, Stiles.”

“Tell Scott it’s an Incubus and a Succubus.Working together.”

“No special method.The, uh, usual way will work.”Derek glanced around, to make sure that nobody heard him.“Scott should be able to smell the pheromones without being affected.”

“Just tell my dad what’s going on, and tell him to let you handle it.”

“Thanks, you guys.”

“Well, I’m just glad you had a real problem.We already had two love issues, and I debated not answering any more calls.”

Kira laughed.“They were crying wolf!Sort of.Oh shit, Derek’s glaring, isn’t he?”

“Nah.”Derek was glaring, but somehow Stiles doubted it was the crying wolf comment.It was more likely that she’d assumed he was glaring.

“I’ll call Scott and take care of this.You two deserve the night off.”  

The call ended, and Stiles looked down at the phone.“We don’t really say goodbye to anyone anymore, do we?”

“They have stuff to hunt.”Derek snorted as he started to shut down the computer.“You can’t tell me you’re annoyed she’s giving us our space.At least she finally came around.”

“I don’t know why they’re so worked up about us having some Hallmark date, it’s not like Valentine’s Day is a real holiday.”

Derek hummed for a moment, putting the laptop and the bag to the side.“Lupercalia is.”

“Wait, what?I thought that Warren Ellis made that up.”

“No.It isn’t something that most packs celebrate these days, but in the older ones, it isn’t unheard of.It’s all about fertility, renewal.”

“Okay, I know how we’re going to fix this.”

“I wasn’t aware tonight needed fixing.”

“Oh, not tonight, but the fact that generally the pack cock blocks us.”

“What’s your plan, genius?We can’t go to your dorm room.”

“We’re gonna get a room tonight, stop at a Target to split a pack of boxer briefs and get whatever else we’ll need to stay overnight, and we’ll start our own tradition for Valentine’s.Get the fuck out of town and then fuck until we pass out.”Stiles beamed, even though he knew the wording was a little crass for the middle of an In-n-Out.But he really didn’t give a damn.

Derek shifted in his seat, the tips of his ears starting to pink and he tried to hide the fact that he was starting to get hard.“That’s a good plan.Still doesn’t solve the original problem.”

“Oh, that one’s easy.We either have sex as often as we can in your apartment so that enough of the pack walks in on us that they stay away,” Stiles paused to try to memorize the look of horror on Derek’s face.He was fine with nudity, but really didn’t want anyone to know anything about their sex life.He wished he’d had the camera on his phone ready to capture it.It would have been the greatest thing to see every time Derek called.“Or we change the locks and tell them they can’t get keys unless they agree they’re only for emergencies ranked 5 or higher on the Stilinski scale.”

“Your dad’s scale or yours?Because I seem to remember you claiming that being out of Pop Tarts was a 7.”

“I was high on pain killers because of my ribs. Everything food related is a 7 or higher when you’re stoned.What do you think of Operation: Lock Them Out?”

“It’s a good plan,” Derek admitted, trying to hide the traces of a smile.“Surprised that you suggested we get a room for tonight.”

“Better than listening to Cora bitch about the apartment smelling.”

“Then let’s seal this deal over milkshakes and find a Target.”Derek grinned.“And when the semester’s over, I’m telling Cora to find her own place.”

“One second.”Stiles pulled out his phone, calling his voicemail.“Hey, you’ve reached Stiles.Unless you’re dead or dying, leave a message after the beep.Actually, if you’re dying, call 911.And if you’re dead, I’m not sure how you’re listening or how you plan on leaving a message.”

“Idiot.”

“It’s why you love me.”

“I do.”Derek smiled, standing up.“Chocolate milkshake?”

“You know it.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [If you want, you can follow me on Tumblr.](http://wingedkiare.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter Two will be up in a couple weeks. I just wanted to get this up here for lastknownwriter. So please be understanding. YES, there will be smut in the next chapter.


End file.
